It's over.

It's been a week since The Project went live. It was mostly nothing like I imagined. In my usual nature I would have been absolutely terrified the morning of, wanting to run away, sick to my stomach with anxiety. Yet somehow I was absolutely fine. Almost indifferent. I had got it into my head that this thing I had spent six months of my life focusing on, that caused me so much stress, didn't matter so much.

I'm still not sure if the way I felt was positive or negative. I guess there are different types of apathy. One case could be that I was so ready for it to be over I realised it was such a small amount of my life overall - the outcome didn't matter so much. Another case could be that I finally felt ready to show people what we had worked so hard on, we'd rehearsed it several times and we knew what we were doing - so why be nervous?

Anyway - I'm glad I didn't feel anxious for once in my life, it made things a WHOLE lot less painful.

I'm aware that, although I'm relieved that it's finished - I still haven't taken a break to appreciate what we achieved. I've got it into my head that my assignments and graduating with a 1st is my priority. I'd love a break but because of the way I work it seems I can't physically let myself. Not until all my assignments are submitted.

I need to get better at that.

- Kaitlyn